Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Today is a weird day for me. I picked up a shift at work this morning and worked until noon. Then I ran to the bank to deposit a check. When I got home I gave myself a facial and paid my water bill. I've been sick with a sinus infection for a while so I'm not feeling the greatest and the right side of my face feels like I've been battered. So I'm slowly doing some laundry, vacuuming the floor, and taking care of some emails and paperwork. I desperately need to do the dishes. After my great last week of keeping my sink clean so far this week I am sucking BIG TIME! It doesn't help that our fridge is broken so I've had that mess to deal with as well. And let me add a tiny rant here. I'm not the only FRIGGIN person who makes messes around here! So that's it. I'm slowly plugging away but I don't have anything great to show for it. Oh and I was hoping to do my exersize video but I can't find that either. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Sunday, February 24, 2008
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schittand Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years,Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt
Friday, February 22, 2008
Yup I sure do!
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
I didn't even know you could smoke heroine...so no.
3. Do you own a gun?
I don't personally own one but there are many in my house.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
I've never added a flavor to my drink at sonic.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Depends on what kind of doctor we're talking about here.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
A good hot dog or braut is great! Cheap hot dogs, no FANK YOU!
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
White Christmas and I can watch it any time of the year!
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
9. Can you do push ups?
hahahaha does 1/2 a push-up count?
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
I don't have a favorite.
12. Favorite hobby?
14. Do you have A.D.D.?
Sometimes I wonder....
15. What's one trait you hate about yourself?
I'm too forgiving sometimes.
16. Middle name?
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment...
1. Why are the kids being so loud
2. I need to get ready for my class
3. Why are the kids being so loud!
18. Name 4 things you bought yesterday?
1. Diet Pepsi
2. Cheese burgers
4. Does Denny's @ 2am count??
19. Name 4 drinks you regularly drink?
2. Diet Pepsi
3. Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi
4. More Diet Pepsi
20. Current worry?
Don't really have one
21. Current hate right now?
I don't hate anything. That takes a lot of effort.
22. Favorite place to be?
Doing karaoke somewhere!
23. How did you bring in the New Year?
24. Where would you like to go?
Prince Edward Island
25. Name something you enjoy doing but haven't done in a while.
26. Do you own slippers?
A red fluffy pair and an animal print pair
27. What shirt are you wearing?
Happy Bunny Shirt
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Yes and no. They're nice in the summer when it's hot but I hate the feeling of them snagging on my heels if they're rough.
29. Can you whistle?
30. Favorite color?
31. Would you be a pirate?
I hope not
32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Surprisingly I don't sing in the shower
33. Favorite girl's name?
34. Favorite boy's name?
35. What's in your pocket right now?
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Oh prolly one of my kids being silly.
37. Best bed sheets as a child?
I had this awesome set of black and white sheets that I loved!
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Hmmm falling off a top bunk bed one New Years many years ago! My ankle was bruised for more than a year!
39. Do you love where you live?
40. How many tvs do you have in your house?
3 technically but we don't use them.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
42. How many dogs do you have?
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
hahahaha prolly not!
45. What is your favorite book(s)?
Too many to name. But my fave as a kid was Number the Stars
46. What is your favorite candy?
I don't think I have a fave. I don't really care for sweet stuff.
47. Favorite Sports Team?
GO SUNS! GO D-BACKS!
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Which time? I didn't sleep very well last night.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Today's Manic Monday is 2 and to be perfectly honest it just isn't inspiring anything. I'm going to try and list everything I have 2 of. It's not much.
2 Living Grandparents
2 half working TVs
2 pairs of brown boots
2 copies of the book Drowning Ruth (don't know why, I haven't even read it yet either)
2 copies of my favorite movie 10 Things I Hate About You
2 Ansel Adams Canyon de Chelly photos
More Manic Monday
Friday, February 15, 2008
Can you tell I've been busy? Here it is, the last day of June, and I'm just NOW getting our family update out! Oh well, at least I've done it and I can say I've successfully kept my New Years resolution for 6 months. That's some kind of record! We just got back from getting family pictures done. That was some kind of feat! The pictures are not as cute as I would have liked but we just could not get all the kids to smile at the same time! Oh well, I guess it shows the "real" them!
Allen has been working a lot of hours because summer is his busy time. He's still looking for a new job (so if you know of any let me know!). He is still tired all the time. He got a machine to sleep with that is supposed to help him breath but it does not work right and he hasn't called the Dr to get it fixed. Very irritating for the person who has to sleep in the same room with him!
I'm doing the same ol' things. I'm still teaching Coupon$ense classes and just recently signed an instructor under me. Our stockpile of food, cleaning supplies, and hygiene products is RIDICULOUS! I just recently got a Scooba, which is a robotic mopper that is the sister the the Roomba. I LOVE IT! If something ever happens to Allen I'm going to marry it! It has absolutely saved me! I'm planning a piano recital for the end of July and I'm really looking forward to it. I will have 4 of my students playing in it!
Cori has been in Summer School this month and is absolutely doing awesome. They had a performance last night that was Patriotic themed. She's been singing God Bless America and Yankee Doodle all month. She has this incredible vibrato that I've never heard before in a 5YO! I think she takes after me! We'll be singing duets soon I'm sure!
Ethan did swim lessons and is doing so well! He's developed a little bit of a fear of the water, which he never had before but he'll get over that soon. He's a little fish so having fear is probably safer for the dare devil. Ethan is still doing Speech Therapy and just recently started Occupational Therapy. I love this boy to death but he is driving me crazy! I'm having a lot of issues with him that have to do with his sensory disorder which just compound his bad behavior. The thing that makes me most angry, is when we're in public he is the sweetest most polite boy. He thanks people for EVERYTHING. At home he pretty much screams at me all day. We've been doing a lot of time out. I'm working on it one day at a time. I just hope he lives to see 4.
Georgia is still the sweetest thing in the planet! I can't believe she's already 11 months! She is so bright! She FINALLY got one tooth and is working on another. She copies sounds so well it sounds like she's talking. She's like a little parrot! She is so expressive with body language as well. She's able to tell me what she needs by a look or a point. It's amazing! She's a chunky little thing but she's smaller than the other two were at this age. She's got more hair than Cori did too, so that's a good sign! My mom is always saying how much she reminds her of me when I was a baby.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
1. The guy I lost my virginity to (sadly he may have been the last person to actually GIVE me a Valentine and that was LONG ago). ♥
2. Freddy Crueger (sp?) or someone equally frightening. ♥
3. Jimmy Beam....a karaoke regular at Marc's. ♥
4. Eric, the guy with hair that smelled like puke. ♥
5. The loser on Plenty of Fish who got pissed because I like sushi. ♥
6. ANY of the guys on my "DO NOT ANSWER" list on my phone. ♥
7. Simone Dubois. She is not a real friend. ♥
8. The guy who played "David" the drunk Best Man in The Wedding Singer (and yes I know he's famous enough for me to know his name but I just can't remember it). ♥
9. Tommy Lee ♥
10. Billy Bob Thornton ♥
11. Brad Pitt ♥
12. ANY of my ex boyfriends (that would just be awkward). ♥
13. Anyone who might complicate my life or bring drama into it. ♥
Find more Thursday Thirteen Players below!
I'm afraid they're all pretty disasterous. I am a distracted, bored, frustrated cook (in that order). The reason I'm not asked to bring anything to Thanksgiving dinner is because at my first I BURNED "steamed brocolli". Whenever I see cooking shows or recipes I have these grand desires to make something really fantastic. I get going and then the distracted sets in. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to NOT mult-task. So I must be folding laundry or something else while I'm cooking. Not a great idea. Then the bored sets in. There's only so much stiring I can do before I'm bored to tears. Once these two things have set in is when the meal starts getting disasterous. Thus comes the frustration and generally only a 1/2 edible meal. So yeah Culinary Disaster could be my middle name!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
As through this frazzled world I wind,
With heavy heart and weary steps,
But with determined mind.
Beseech I for a flicker of
The faith than can a mountain move,
And hold that tenet close to me,
Believing where I cannot prove.
The pow’r that comes when sinking low
To man who grasps for straw or rope,
Will clutch til has he breath no more
For where there’s life, there’s hope.
If my good turn be given to
My fellow man’s deficiency,
I’ll try to share my lowly gifts
Of Faith and Hope and Charity.
faith, hope, and charity - anne shannon demarest - 1965
If you don't have children but are planning on having them someday I suggest you stop reading now. What you are about to see is what my house looks like on a DAILY basis. Even the after photos below only stayed that way for a little while. Not an hour later there was more laundry on the couch to be folded. There are already more dirty dishes in the sink and there are legos all over the rug. At least the legos aren't greasy! So I guess I have some more work to do!
A little behind on putting away the laundry....as usual!
I had forgotten what my couch looked like!
Monday, February 11, 2008
A good friend of mine pointed out the other day that America's hesitation w/ Barak may be the fact that he doesn't identify w/ a Christian religion and that may be the appeal of Hilary. But if it's Christian "values" that America is looking for then we better look away from the Clinton's QUICK! It's OBVIOUS that they have no integrity. How can we put our trust and faith into people like that?
I wish I had more time to read. Several of Barack's books look very interesting and I'm sure that would give me more insite into his ideas. I'm kicking myself for not getting into this race sooner. I'm now craving more information than I can possibly get by November! I'm going to be spending time on Barack's official website today!
I read another interesting blog posting on this same subject today. It seems everyone is thinking about the same thing. Read more thoughts at It’s a Blog Eat Blog World
It should be no surprise that the first thing I think of would be MUSIC! So I was all ready to post lyrics to one of Heart's songs. Then I started thinking a little deeper and remembered my grandpa had open heart surgery this time last year. I spent a month living with him and taking care of him. I am happy to report that he's doing pretty well for an 87 year old man who got cut open a year ago! Sadly I don't have many recent pictures of him. We just haven't gone out to see them as much this past year. It's a long drive and he gets tired quickly. This is the ONE picture I found of him from back in October.
More Manic Monday
Saturday, February 9, 2008
1. Thing You're Afraid To Do?:
2. Thing Scientists Need To Invent?:
3. Thing That Would Make You Very Happy?:
4. Thing About Valentine's Day That's Special To You?:
1. I'm afraid to be an single mom
3. Clarity of mind
See more Saturday Special Players
1:30 or so...I was out w/ friends.
2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Where's my phone (it was ringing).
3. Is the person you have a crush on older or younger than you?
4. What did you do last night?
went to Hurricane Bay and Marc's
5. Do you own anything that cost more than 1000 dollars?
My car, my house, a pair of Manolo Blahniks, Computer
6. Have you ever ran with scissors?
Probably, I'm a rule breaker.
7. Do you sell on ebay and if so what was the last thing you sold?
8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
9. How is your day so far?
Good although I'm very tired.
10. Do you want to go to college?
I want to go BACK to college!
11. What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm?
12. Whats your favorite season?
13. Last thing you ate/drank?
An orange and a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi
14. When was the last time you cried and the reasons?
I had just realized that certain opportunities are no longer mine for the taking.
15. Are you single?
16. Name something you cannot wait for?
When my kids go to bed so I can sleep!
17. What did you do for your last birthday?
Had a week long celebration w/ several parties....some of them not so pretty!
18. How many kids do you want to have?
19. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?
20. How many red lights have you ran?
A couple but I didn't mean to.
21. Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
22. What was your favorite grade?
Oh geez....maybe 2nd grade? I don't remember!
23. What were you doing at 12 am last night?
Still at Marc's I think
24. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
25. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
26. When was the last time you were given roses? and from who?
I believe it was in high school......sad very sad.
27. Plans for tomorrow?
Doing stuff w/ my kids
28. When did your last hug take place?
At the pool when my kids showed up.
29. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
Yup they make the 2nd g upper case...GiGi...drives me NUTS!
30. Have you ever started a sentence saying No-Offense... But...?
31. Do you drink tea?
Love green tea and Nut crunch roibos
32. When was the last time you saw a cop?
I prolly saw one while I was driving today.
33. Did you ride in someone elses car today?
34. Have you made a mistake in the past week?
I'm a walking mistake
35. What song are you listening to right now?
36. Who was the last person to text you?
37. Do you miss someone?
38. Is there anything you regret about your past?
Sort of....but not really.
39. Are you happy with your life?
40. What was the last movie you watched?
The Heartbreak Kid...tried to watch it twice and still haven't seen the whole thing.
41. Have you ever touched an elephant?
42. Who was the last person to call you?
43. Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
44. Do you sleep with the light on or off?
45. What is your favorite hobby?
46. Do you own a pair of Nikes?
47. Do you have any pets?
a chocolate lab named Cody
48. What were you doing at 11 a.m. this morning?
49. Is there a difference between the word's best friend and good friend?
hmmm...when I say it yes
50. How many cars have you owned?
51. Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot?
I sincerely like a lot of people.
52. Are you afraid of clowns?
53. When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
a couple days ago
54. Who is your celebrity crush?
He's dead....Heath Ledger
55. Do you know anybody who was abused?
56. Favorite fruit?
57. Do you take walks often?
not often enough
58. Have you ever had a reoccurring nightmare?
59. Is silence really golden?
Anyone who says no does not have any children!
60. What did you do a week ago tonight?
Hung out w/ a friend.
61. Who is your favorite rapper?
I don't know that I have a fave.
62. Are you afraid to grow up?
haha I wish I wasn't grown up!
64. What language are you taking?
65. Any upcoming vacations?
DC this summer
66. Would you call yourself smart?
I'm very smart
67. Do you like to read?
love to read
Thursday. It's my first day off in the week and I have so much that I "say" I'll do and I get hardly nothing done! LOL
2. Is there a day of the week that seems to never end?
Saturdays, especially if I'm working Family Swim.
3. Have you ever had a strong crush on someone, but did not say anything to that person? If yes, why?
Probably a lot when I was in high school. Back then every crush was a strong crush. I've also like someone who had a girlfriend and I'm not the type to steal someone else's man.
4. Have you had a crush in secret and then told that person? If yes, what happened?
I remember one in particular in high school. I like Josh Holly and rumors started flying about my crush. So I decided to come clean to him. He quite literally had NO reaction!
5. Have you ever been stalked?
6. Have you ever, in retrospect, stalked someone?
Hmm...I remember driving by an ex-boyfriends house a lot. But I eventually lost interest in that! LOL
7. Have you ever slept with someone on a first date?
heh heh....no comment
8. Have you ever regretted not sleeping with someone?
Two people actually
9. What attracts you first to someone else (sexually, romantically or both...you chose)?
A quirky personality trait is what first attracts me and then a great smile is what keeps me.
Wanna Participate in Saturday 9?
Friday, February 8, 2008
Email to moms group October 15, 2005:
And the saga continues. Today it was orange paint! By the time he was done he and the tile looked like a pumkin! Thank heavens it was water-soluable and was easy to clean, but that kid is going to get one of us killed! I'm either going to kill him or kill myself! ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my husband said to me "well, what were you doing?" The only reply I could muster was "oh, in the bathtub taking a leisurely bubble bath, w/ some scented candles, and champaign....WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WAS DOING!?!?" In actuality I was taking my ritual "spritz". Mothers no longer get "showers". I don't even wait for the water to warm up anymore! I just jump in, freeze my A&& off for a few 2nds, shampoo OR condition my hair (I don't have time to do both), jump out of the shower, throw my towell around me and run down the hall to check on the kids! "It only takes a second" doesn't only mean swimming pools and drowning, it's 2YOs in general! It's gonna take something harder than calgon to take ME away!
My greatest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality!
And here are pics of the kids around Easter time 2005. 2005 was the year my harddrive crashed so I don't have many pics from that year. Very sad!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
1. A bigger house w/ a pool
2. An SUV
3. A pair or 2 of Manolo Blahniks
4. A NEW washer and dryer
5. New interior decor for my house
6. A lap top
7. Lots of clothes
8. Jet Ski
9. A maid
10. In home theatre
I'm so mad that I didn't take a before picture this AM! My friend Sara came over EARLY this AM to use my computer. Perfect opportunity to make my lazy ass get out of bed and get something done. My "great room" irritates me because I just don't know how to furnish it or arrange things. Well I got a bit of inspiration last night to move the big chairs around a little. The area still needs some work and obviously I haven't totally conqured the clutter but I'm happy w/ the progress for today. Here are the "after" pictures. Oh and the computer was Cori and Ethan's b-day gift from their dad! So glad to have my computer back!
Monday, February 4, 2008
1. I'm tired of:
falling into my old patterns.
2. I am listening to:
3. Maybe I should:
mop my floors.
4. Chocolate is:
5. I don't understand:
why I don't have more respect for myself.
6. I have lost my respect for:
7. I last ate:
a Southwest Chicken Salad from Jack N The Box.
I'll travel to a few of my dream destinations.
10. I will always remember:
nothing! I have a terrible memory.
11. Love is:
is an overcast rainy day.
15. I get annoyed:
when people drive like they're the only car on the road.
make the SuperBowl go by so much quicker!
17. Simple kisses:
are nice when they're unexpected.
18. Secret wish:
that I could turn back the clock several years and make some better decisions.
1. Is your hair wet?
2. Is your cell phone right by you?
in my pocket
3. Do you miss someone?
4. Are you wearing chap stick?
5. Are you tired?
6. Are you wearing pajamas?
07. Are you mad?
a little at myself
08. Are you upset?
a little at myself
1. Recently done anything you regret?
hahahahahahaha um yeah
2. Ever stuck gum under a desk?
3. Ever tripped over your own feet?
so many times! I'm a klutz!
TODAY HAVE YOU
1. Have you cursed?
2. Have you gotten mad at someone?
3. Is there one person on your mind right now?
No there are several people on my mind right now.
4. Do you have any siblings?
1 sister, 2 step-sisters, 2 step-brothers
5. Do you want children?
been there done that and all I got were these lousy stretch marks!
6. Do you smile often?
all the time!
7. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
8. Do you like your handwriting?
eh it's fine...can't do much about it
9. Are your toenails painted?
10. Are you a friendly person?
11. What color shirt are you wearing?
12. What were you doing at 2PM yesterday?
cleaning my house
13. What can you not wait for?
the day I make better decisions!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Today was Cori and Ethan's b-day party and I am a lame mom. I didn't want to deal w/ a bunch of kids or all the presents so I told the kids they could only invite one person each. Well their friends didn't show up! Cori was disapointed. Ethan couldn't have cared less.
We went swimming at my pool of course. They had lots of fun as usual.
Ethan got a Mater toy and a Policeman costume. The kids also got a computer from their dad. Cori will soon be learning how to download her photos from her digital camera and blogging. And I'm just happy to have my computer back!
I've learned my lesson. I'll just bite the bullet next year and let them invite a bunch of people that way at least SOMEONE will show up! LOL I don't know what I'm complaining about. Cori and Ethan's b-days are only two weeks apart so for at least a while I'll be able to do just one party for them. And thankfully Georgia won't need anything more than a family party for the next couple years!
I'm a bit of an insomniac. But if I go to bed late I sleep pretty well.
2. Do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes but usually only the ones that have a real meaning.
3. When you can’t sleep at night, are you worried about something?
Not really worried, but sometimes I just can't turn my mind off.
4. What are your plans today?
Well the day is mostly over. I worked this morning then had the kids b-day party and tonight I'm hanging w/ a friend.
5. What TV character are you most like?
I have no idea....I don't watch much tv.
6. What is your favorite thing to do online?
Blog, check my myspace, watch tv.
7. Did your father go to college? If yes, where?
Yup, to BYU back when they took all return missionaries w/out question.
8. If you had to share an office at work, what type of person would be the easiest for you to share with?
Someone who is a neat freak so it would encourage me to be neat too!
9. Name a star that no one would guess that you are a “closet fan” of?
Wanna Participate in Saturday 9?
Friday, February 1, 2008
Email I sent October 4, 2005:
I've really been thinking about this and trying to nail down my most basic struggles. Besides "everything" which is what I thought of at first, I know my struggles are that of most SAHMs. I have 3 kids under 5, an infant who takes extra care, a husband who is in school, and A LOT on my plate! My most basic struggle is w/ the daily stuff. The stuff that HAS to be done in order for the house to stay in a "company ready state". It seems like I will do the dishes, or pick up the living room floor, and turn around 5 minutes later and I need to do those things all over again! I've spent the last 2 days doing laundry because I was behind and had some extra to do. Well, the laundry is done, but nothing else! I have 4 or 5 really bad hotspots. I try to go through them daily, but just don't have the time! It's another one of those things that seems to flare up once I turn my back! Dirving Cori to school and picking her up are taking a toll on me and I know my "taxi" job is only going to get worse as my kids get older! I am completely unorganized w/ my schedule. I have yet to find a planner/daytimer that works for me. I'm afraid to make a "to-do list" for fear it would be a mile long! I'll admit part of my personality has a "if I can't do it perfectly, why do it at all" quirk. I have had the fact that I am not perfect seared into my brain my whole life so badly that I've given up! My mom was talking to me the other day about HER need for perfection (she's the one who has told me how imperfect I am, and she gets if from her father and the fact that she was molested as a child) and her trying to have ONE perfect thing (even if that perfect thing is her sock drawer). I said flat out to her that I was not going to EVER be that perfect thing in her life. Now, that is true, since no one is perfect, however it shows what a low opinion I have of myself! I've tried to watch the couples Starting Over, and there is one gal who reminds me of ME! I can't remember her name, but she's the young dark haired girl who doesn't know what she wants to do w/ her life and feels pressure from her family and boyfriend to pick a profession. She admits that she spends most of her time trying to appear perfect and doesn't really know who she is. I realized that that is ME! I don't know WHO I am! I used to have a lot of interests/talents but kind of lost those things in my fog of depression that started at the end of my junior year. I'm still not out of that fog and that fog sometimes lets me do REALLY STUPID things! I'm listening to Dr Phil's "Self Matters" in hopes that I can learn to find my "authentic self". I really don't even know what that is, or how to go about finding it. Basically, I'm depressed and don't know how to get myself out of it! The prozac doesn't seem to help (well, I don't have the urge to kill my husband, kids, or myself so it is doing SOMETHING). Allen and I are in marriage counceling. We've had 2 sessions and both times we were both on our "best behavior". The councelor picked up on that and is trying to draw the problems out of us, but it's so frustrating. There are times when I am HOPPING MAD at that man, but I get over it so easily that I can't really remember what I'm upset about when we get to the councelor. So there's my input! I could go on and on and on and on and on.....about all my quirks (I have a lot of them) but I won't bore you!