~In the words of the Grammar Snob.....I tend to curse and make little things seem like BIG FREAKING THINGS and overreact and think the world revolves around me. BUT! I can be sweet and charming sometimes. You should focus on those times.~

Friday, August 31, 2007


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know we don't have enough money already?!

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles arealways white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuumcleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with ashopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's allright?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whe never you attempt to catch something that's fallingoff the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons issuffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three bestfriends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

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